Halloween Challenge
by DaniWilder
Summary: Response to dwparsnip's Halloween challenge: Rodney and a female at Halloween.


**MGM owns most characters.**

**A/N: Answering Dwparsnip Halloween challenge of Rodney and a female. This silly idea came to me this evening. Thanks to Betherdy Babe for the beta.**

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"I don't give candy to grown-ups," a frail, white-haired woman stated.

"I'm in a costume," Rodney fumed.

"Who are you? You look like a man in a tuxedo."

"I'm Bruce Wayne."

"Who?"

"Batman's alter ego. Bruce Wayne," Rodney growled, shaking his head. "Listen, I'm getting it for a child who's in no condition to be out on a cold wet night and wants candy. I can hardly take it from a three year old, now can I?" He motioned to Torren in his Spiderman costume next to Teyla dressed as Wonder Woman complete with a golden lasso hanging from her waist.

The Athosian rolled her eyes, as this was the fifth house where Rodney started arguing for candy. Each time he would mention the child, the person would give in but this woman seemed particularly belligerent.

"And he's such a little cutie pie," she said, getting distracted by the big brown eyes of Teyla's son. "Would you like another piece, little boy?"

Torren eagerly stepped forward to take a piece of candy. "Thank you," he said shyly as he ran back to his mother.

"You gave him more?" Rodney growled indignantly. "You can't do that."

"Of course I can. It's my candy and I'll give it to whomever I want," the old lady rose to her full height of almost five feet and glared.

"You've got name brand candy not that cheap stuff your neighbors have. Do you know the lady down the road is giving away pretzels? Who eats pretzels on Halloween?"

Teyla knew Rodney was now trying to make the old lady feel like she was better than her neighbors.

"Edna spent the rest of her monthly social security money on that candy. So sorry her candy's not good enough for you," the woman slammed her screen door in Rodney's face.

"Rodney, perhaps we best go? There are plenty of other houses," Teyla said in her soothing voice.

Rodney grumbled and spoke about how inhospitable people in Colorado Springs were as a black SUV pulled up in front of the house. The door opened and Rodney yelled, "Better be younger than ten or this old battle axe won't give you anything."

"Rodney?" Samantha Carter's voice came from the open door.

"Sam?" he replied, stunned.

"General Carter," Teyla replied.

Sam stepped out in a full Victorian-era blue gown and caused Rodney's mouth to drop. "What are you doing out here?"

"Rodney is introducing Torren and I to Trick-or-Treating," Teyla answered.

"McKay, aren't you a little old to get candy?" Jack O'Neill said. Or at least it sounded like the retired General. The man speaking was dressed in a pirate outfit complete with huge hat and parrot on his shoulder.

"It's not for me," Rodney moaned.

"Johnny!" the old woman from the house called through the screen.

"Hey, Mom," Jack replied. "We'll be right up."

"Your _mother_?" Rodney's face was covered in a look of complete horror as O'Neill glared at him.

"Yup the old battle axe is my mom," Jack replied.

"Don't worry," Sam whispered conspiratorially as she touched Rodney's arm. "I've been calling her _that_ for years."

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"I am certain you won't be sleeping outside tonight, Rodney," Teyla said as they approached his house.

"She's a hundred times worse than you were during your pregnancy," Rodney replied as motioned them inside.

After dropping his tuxedo jacket over a chair and reminding Torren to take off his shoes so he didn't track allergens through the house, he slunk into the living room to his wife. "Hey."

"Did you get more?" Jennifer asked as she seemed to be inhaling _M&Ms_ and _Snickers_.

Rodney bent down to kiss her head. "You shouldn't eat too much caffeine because the baby'll be wired all night. You'll never get any sleep."

"_Rodney_?" Jennifer turned toward him. "Did you get more candy?" She enunciated each word slowly.

"Of course," he said with confidence. "I got more Snickers and even your favorite _Hershey's Kisses_."

"I knew no one could resist you in a tux," Jennifer said, smiling at him and tugging him down for a proper kiss.

No one you can think of, Teyla chuckled, remembering her teammate's groveling at the home of General O'Neill's mother._ I hope Jennifer likes the names Jack or Samantha for her child. _

**

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A/N: Happy Halloween if you celebrate it.**


End file.
